Crucial Conversations

I just start reading a book called Crucial Conversations. Written by several authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny & Ron McMillan. (Founders of VitalSmarts, Industry: Corporate training and organizational performance).

The books offers tools (Techniques) to deal with crucial conversations we all have in our lives.

Crucial conversation:
A conversation between 2 or more individuals when (1) stakes are high, (2) opinion vary and (3) emotions run strong.


It is hard to have a crucial conversation because something happens inside our body when we feel a certain pressure during important conversations. Even if we don't really want to, our brain pumps blood into the big muscles of our arms and legs and two little organs just above our kidneys release adrenaline. It prepares our body to fight or flight. Less blood is pumped into the part of the brains that enables us to reason and now we start to argue like animals.

Not really, but kinda?

I just start reading it and there is so much profound information given about why, when and how to deal with important conversations in our lives. Think about a couple situations we probably all face that just require a healthy dialogue to improve our lives' and lives of people around us tremendously.

- Important conversations with a spouse, friend or family member
- Asking for a pay raise
- Giving feedback on the management
- Telling a person how their behavior/mannerism affects things

'Crucial Conversations' provides tools to deal with crucial conversations we all have or will have (I mean should have!) in our personal and professional lives. Most of the people who are able to control the things that happen inside their body(the genes thing), know exactly what they want to say, communicate clearly what they want to say (the ones who master these conversations skills) are always the ones who have richer relationships, are more wealthy and healthier compared to most people. But that's not all we need to do; we'll have to start from the heart (What does that mean eh?) and be able to listen deeply and understand the other persons' perspective first.

It doesn't seem to be easy to master these skills. Simply, because it's a good thing. Good things don't come easy. You wouldn't be convinced to learn how to communicate better during crucial conversations if you don't have any reasons to do so, if you don't have the why. If there is something inside of you now that say's: 'Yeah, you almost convinced me to spend these 15 dollars', try to read the first 50 pages (check the library, go to the bookstore or try to download it (tried that, couldn't find it). When I read the first 50 pages and started to reflect on myself, I imagined how much difference I could make if I take this long road to master crucial conversation-skills.

(Dutch version is available)