diary; 19th June

There are many reasons for not being able to sleep; the habit of sleeping late, stress, some emotion, some event that happened today. Whatever.

But I don't think tonight it's one of those. I know this feeling. Had it a couple of times before. It's.. me not having done the things I was supposed to do today. That shit always keeps me up at night. Every night I evaluate myself. Asking myself the question whether I did something today that contributes to my goals and mission. I assume that a lot of people have thought about the reasons why they are put on earth. And most of the people who thought about that, gained some sort of focus, direction and commitment to something in their lives. I believe I was put on this earth for something bigger than myself, and I believe that everybody has some sort of need to contribute beyond themselves.

And if you don't contribute to yourself and the world, or don't do it enough...you will know.

Holy crap, I just realized that many people have difficulties falling asleep. Some of them are my friends. When I ask them why they can't sleep at night, they never seem to be able to answer that question. They don't really know. And now I am wondering if it could be an universal principal. That if you fail to put effort in finding your purpose, contribute beyond yourself and use your talents, you consciously or unconsciously KNOW. They should do some scientific research about this.

Laugh and think about religion

Update MMI Amsterdam

After two days of attending this seminar I became much more aware about my relationship with money: my "money blueprint". I became aware of the contradicted beliefs I had regarding money and wealth. Some beliefs encourage me to strive for high wealth while some beliefs are simply not supportive for becoming wealthy. In order to delete those beliefs out of my toolbox aka the brain, we did a little exercise based on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). In essence, NLP is a way to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behavior (Wikipedia). It's supposed to be hypnotic and I believe it worked. At least, I hope it works.

There is so much stuff I would like to share on my blog. But the most important thing about all of this is the context. I could show you my notes and share the interesting things I heard. But it would have no or just a incomplete context to it. Get in touch with me if you want to know more about my experiences during the MMI Amsterdam. Maybe meet up up with me or just leave a comment if you have any questions. Holler if you attended this seminar too or share your experiences with T. Harv Eker. I'd like that.

One thing I do start to believe is the value of these seminars. I was very skeptical about seminars, thinking these businesses are probably just scams. And I am sure there are lots of low value seminars out there. But T. Harv Eker can deliver. Other speakers where Markus de Maria and Pa Joof. 

One thing I can't stop thinking about these two days is: What is the value of The Millionaire Mind Intensive seminar anyway? 

The regular price is 97 euro . People who bought the Dutch version of his bestseller 'The secrets of the millionaire mind' ("Het millionaires brein ontrafeld") got a free tick to this seminar. You could get a discount through Groupon: I heard that's about 33 Euro. I got a deal in november 2010 to attend this seminar for about 120 or 140 euro's, I dont know how much I paid (I forgot). For sure more than the regular price of 97 euro. Included in the deal I took was an extra ticket for another 3-day Internet marketing seminar. I feel disappointed, because I believed that the value of the Millionaire Mind Intensive seminar is somewhere between a 1000 and 3000 US dollars. On several official sources it is claimed that the value of this seminar is over 1000 Euro's. I did some research on the Internet and figured that there are of course lots of discounts and free tickets available through different sources. So would be there ANYONE in the world who paid the so-claimed 'normal price' of 1000 dollar/1000 euros? I don't think so. If there is somebody who did, he or she must feel really, really bad. Attending a 1000 dollar seminar for free or for less than 150 euros? Can't believe I believed that. If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is. However, I feel like I am learning something valuable. Today (the second day) was a pretty tricky day and I expect tomorrow to be no different. The Millionaire Mind Intensive is a seminar to get to become more aware about your money blueprint and to get to know T. Harv Eker a little better. The real how-to-do-it information is available at other seminars (damn it). Which of course are more valuable and thus more expensive. If you don't know which one of the hundreds of so-claimed business guru's you should invest to learn about business, entrepreneurship and marketing, I recommend you to attend MMI and find out if T. Harv Eker is the right teacher for you to learn you more about business. He does an excellent job at promoting himself and his seminars and at the same time delivering valuable information.

What I like the most about T. Harv is that he encourages you to make money with something you are passionate about and that you must contribute to others. He emphasizes that you should strive for financial freedom and a whole lot of money. Why? Because you can help more people if you have a lot of money. Funny thing is, when you think about it. In a lot of occasions (not all), you are already helping a lot of people (solving problems) if you are making good money with a good business.

"You can do a lot more good with money, than without money"- T. Harv Eker.

Millionaire Mind Intensive Amsterdam

Tomorrow I am going to attend the 'Millionaire Mind Intensive' seminar at the RAI in Amsterdam. T. Harv Eker, speaker and author of New York #1 bestseller The secrets of the Millionaires Mind, is going to explain the psychology of wealth. Financial wealth that is. Many authorities claim he's one of the best at what he does. I visited two pre-seminars of this event. It's going to be a 3-day seminar from early in the morning till late in the night: 08.00-23.00. Really sick. One thing I learned about these kind of seminars is that you will have to be active. During the pre-seminar, the speakers got us to stand up, scream/yell, repeat key words, high-five and massage your neighbors etc. At first, I thought it was a way to manipulate us to feel good and create a bonding atmosphere. Could be. But it happens in a positive way. In my opinion that means: with the intention to change your beliefs for the better. It looks and feels dumb sometimes, but I think it must be done. And you should play along. If you are not playing full-out, you will not only loose focus and energy, but also miss out on some feelings you trigger inside of yourself. These funny but crazy exercises are a way to get entertained and trick your physiology to trigger some lasting feelings and emotions. One of the things we had to do was to make a declaration. And one of the things we had to say in the declarations was:

I am a good money manager! (Hands on the chest and say it with energy)

I just played along. Said it with energy. And after repeating that for the 10th time I thought to myself: this might look dumb and feels stupid. But what's wrong with telling myself I'm a good money manager? What wrong with being a good money manager? I could do a much better job at managing my money right now and if I want to have the money to make good investment: I might as well say it and really believe it. Put energy and emotion in it.

When I got home I reflect back on those feelings and newly adopted beliefs. All that energy I put in saying those things and embracing the new beliefs have a lasting effect on me. That's the easy part. The second thing you can only do yourself: put everything you understand into action. Making it happen now. If you are ever going to attend such a seminar I recommend you to play full-out. Be uncomfortable. feel uncomfortable. That's how you know you are out of your comfort zone and on the right path of learning new things.You would not sit there anyway if you didn't intent to make drastic change in your life. Once you play full out and repeat those new beliefs, you will never want to keep your old beliefs. Simple reason: The old beliefs where holding you back and the new ones will feel too important to ignore.

Seminars like these intent to persuade you to think and behave differently. It's a pretty 'scary' thought, but challenging. I always find it positive thing when I find out that my current mindset is in conflict with the values and beliefs I must have to reach a certain goal. I hope I get to learn more about my own money blueprint and mindset. It could be inspiring.

We'll see. Will keep y'all posted about the things I learned and experienced during this seminar.

This is T. Harv Eker.

Toastmasters Amsterdam

Toastmasters is an international organization that offers a supportive environment for people who want to learn and/or improve their communication and listening skills. There are a couple of Toastmasters club in the Netherlands. Most of them are English spoken and some are Dutch spoken.

Last Friday I went to the Hilton Hotel in Amsterdam to visit Toastmasters club Amsterdam. They speak English here. The people in this club have different backgrounds, cultures, motivations etc. In each Toastmasters club in the world you can expect people who are absolute beginners and just want to conquer their fear of public speaking, advanced speakers and everything in between.

The session started and I noticed that the meeting was as formal as the setting/scene. Everything was scheduled:

- Who was going to speak about what en when.
- Who was going to evaluate them
- Timekeeper
- Who was going to count how many times a speakers says 'uhhhhs' and 'ahhhss' and 'uhmmm' etc.
- Grammarian
- and there were more roles, can't remember all

The meeting took 2 hours and after 90 minutes I saw some performances of beginners, intermediate and advanced speakers. (just as I expected)

Now there were 30 minutes to go and it was time for "Table Topics": The part of the meeting where members get to think on their feet and speak for a minute or two on a topic selected by the Table Topic Master (Yes, that is a role too). Topics range from politics and current events to hobbies and entertainment. Fast, lively and always entertaining.

I didn't know exactly what it was, so I got that definition from Google.

Tonight's theme was: Tolerance. Every table topic was related to that word. The table master asked random people to come up and give their answers and/or perspectives on questions like:

- What would be something that YOU just can't tolerate?
- What would you be more tolerant about in another situation, place or part of the world whereas you would not be tolerant about that in your own hometown/country/situation and why?
- If there would be one thing in the world people should be more tolerant about, what would that be?

Crap, I can present well when I'm prepared. Thinking and speaking on the spot in front of 30 strangers is something that makes my heart goes boom-boom-boom-boom-boom very fast.

So I got picked by the Table-topic Master to tell the audience what I believe the one thing is that people should be more tolerant about in the world. I was sitting in the back and I had to walk up to the front. The people gave me an encouraging applause, but it sure was one of the longest 16 meters I walked in my life.

I stood there and said: " If there would be one thing in the world people should be more tolerant about it would be: cultural differences (I said that with a lot of confidence as if I knew exactly what I was going to say next)


I didn't.


However, I could just feel that I had caught the attention from most people in the room. Too bad I didn't had a brilliant, outspoken explanation to support that opinion I just made. 


But I had a story about culture. One that I love to tell because I noticed that, especially Asians, can relate to this story. One Taiwanese woman talked a little about the Chinese culture during her performance earlier on and I just wanted to make some things a little more clear. 

I told this story with enthusiasm, passion, energy and suddenly I felt more comfortable speaking in front of these people than sitting in the back.

I finished my talking and when I walked back to my seat I had the weirdest feeling I ever had after speaking in public, because I fucked up and did a good job at the same time. Depends on how I want to see it. I messed up because I totally did NOT answer the question, exceeded the time limit with 2 minutes (didn't know there was a time-limit for table topics) and apparently I said 'uhhhh' 11 times. I did a good job because I know I spoke with enthusiasm and energy. I consider energy to be THE most important thing when you speak no matter when, with who or why. Nothing matters more than energy. Real enthusiasm and energy is what keeps people awake, attracted to you and open. I particularly remembered one person in the audience smiling at me when I was speaking, it was a real smile. I know a real smile when I see one. That means one thing for sure: she was with me, present and listening. I feel I might have given people some interesting insights about me and/or the Chinese culture. Some value. I really don't care too much about the fact that I did not answered the question.

After the meeting one guy came up to me and said:

"Hey, you did a good job out there"

- Ah really? Thanks.

"Yeah, especially for somebody who speaks here for the first time. I think, with some practice, you can become a great speaker"

- Thank you so much

Eyo.

There are some things I can't handle well and of those things is accepting praise and compliments (and criticism to make it more complicated for ya). I have the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. I just seldom feel they are genuine. I had a realization when somebody later that night told me that even when someone makes compliment out of contempt, there is always some dark jealous truth behind their own heart. I would like to know how you handle compliments and praise and tell me if you can relate to my perspective. Open my mind on this one.

Still not over you

I never stopped loving you and if I ever get the chance to make you mine, I will.
*Love songs playing in my head nshht*

Crucial Conversations

I just start reading a book called Crucial Conversations. Written by several authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny & Ron McMillan. (Founders of VitalSmarts, Industry: Corporate training and organizational performance).

The books offers tools (Techniques) to deal with crucial conversations we all have in our lives.

Crucial conversation:
A conversation between 2 or more individuals when (1) stakes are high, (2) opinion vary and (3) emotions run strong.


It is hard to have a crucial conversation because something happens inside our body when we feel a certain pressure during important conversations. Even if we don't really want to, our brain pumps blood into the big muscles of our arms and legs and two little organs just above our kidneys release adrenaline. It prepares our body to fight or flight. Less blood is pumped into the part of the brains that enables us to reason and now we start to argue like animals.

Not really, but kinda?

I just start reading it and there is so much profound information given about why, when and how to deal with important conversations in our lives. Think about a couple situations we probably all face that just require a healthy dialogue to improve our lives' and lives of people around us tremendously.

- Important conversations with a spouse, friend or family member
- Asking for a pay raise
- Giving feedback on the management
- Telling a person how their behavior/mannerism affects things

'Crucial Conversations' provides tools to deal with crucial conversations we all have or will have (I mean should have!) in our personal and professional lives. Most of the people who are able to control the things that happen inside their body(the genes thing), know exactly what they want to say, communicate clearly what they want to say (the ones who master these conversations skills) are always the ones who have richer relationships, are more wealthy and healthier compared to most people. But that's not all we need to do; we'll have to start from the heart (What does that mean eh?) and be able to listen deeply and understand the other persons' perspective first.

It doesn't seem to be easy to master these skills. Simply, because it's a good thing. Good things don't come easy. You wouldn't be convinced to learn how to communicate better during crucial conversations if you don't have any reasons to do so, if you don't have the why. If there is something inside of you now that say's: 'Yeah, you almost convinced me to spend these 15 dollars', try to read the first 50 pages (check the library, go to the bookstore or try to download it (tried that, couldn't find it). When I read the first 50 pages and started to reflect on myself, I imagined how much difference I could make if I take this long road to master crucial conversation-skills.

(Dutch version is available)